Coming out to Mum

Since it’s Mothers’ Day here at The Queer Sphere we thought we’d have a look at the important and often scary moment in every gay person’s life – coming out to mum. I was lucky enough to have a generally liberal mother who took my coming out in her stride as if I’d just told her I was going to the shop to get some milk.

Debbie Queer as Folk

Debbie from Queer as Folk, The Ultimate Accepting Mother

However, not everyone is as lucky, living in fear of rejection/disapproval for years about coming out to their parents with some never managing to do so. Sadly, there are those parents who do react badly and horror stories about parents disowning gay children are unfortunately still not a relic of days gone by.

You may remember last year an American blogger caused controversy and attracted astounding attention with her blogpost ‘My son is gay’ , a commentary of events following her decision to allow her 5 old year son to dress as Daphne from the cartoon Scooby-Doo. A seemingly trivial event you may think but it has attracted almost 50,000 comments and coverage in some major publications. The article is touchingly written and for me, perfectly encapsulates and articulattes how a mother (should) feels about a gay child and a happy note to reflect upon on Mothers’ Day:

And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.

I hope I am doing that.

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  1. Cris

    Wow, what a great blog that woman has written. I wish more people could be as open minded as her! Do you know if the ‘50,000’ comments were positive or negative?

    I was quite lucky with both my parents. My Mum found a message I’d sent (on HER phone may I add) saying some boy was hot. Silly Me. She just said me down, said she’d known since I was 7 and just talked. My Dad asked a few times (I think going on ‘’ and googling ‘gay’ may have hinted) and finally I said yes. He was very supportive too.

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