Mm. Nerds. There’s nothing like a bespectacled, cardigan-clad geek to send chills of desperate longing up my spine. Yes, that’s right – longing.
The fact is, nerds are sexy because intelligence is sexy. We’ve still got the Geordie Shore, bimbo boys and girls whose lonely brain cells only spark together because there’s not much to do in a big empty space, but the nerd – or, at least, the representation of the nerd – is hot, sexy, and probably down with the kids.
Nerds, geeks and dorks form distinct social groupings (no, they really do), but they can all be characterised by certain sartorial choices. The cardigan is a classic, if slightly old-school, reference to nerdiness: it evokes something of the pipe-smoking fictional Fifties Dad that we all know and love. Books, of course, signify nerdiness, because, right, normal people don’t read – duh. But it’s surely glasses that are the highest ranking pip of nerd-dom: the cherry on top of a gluten, wheat and dairy-free cake.
So if nerds are cool and sexy, so are glasses. I’m not just saying that because I wear glasses. Well, maybe a little. But think of those people who are suave, sophisticated, sexy and downright ace, or those who want to show they’ve grown up and taken on a new, intelligent life – Brad Pitt springs to mind. Glasses are sexy because they mean you’re a bit nerdy or clever, and that – now – means sexy.
It wasn’t always the way, of course, and even now some find the idea of glasses revolting; instead opting for contact lenses or surgery to get rid of the specs, despite there being a huge number of fun and fashionable glasses available online (like the beauts above from Lensway). But really, glasses are the ultimate weapon in flirting. With your glasses, you could be a geeky tech tinkerer or a shy, retiring secretary – but whip those boys off and it’s hair down, eyebrow raised and trousers off before you can say ‘classic 90s teen movie’. It’s what’s behind glasses that makes the whole thing vibrate with a delightful frisson – and what makes nerds so appealing.
Behind every nerdy guy and geeky girl there’s an absolute sex bomb waiting to get out. You need proof? Check out American Apparel’s adverts, where they put semi-nude guys and gals in glasses – without real lenses. Or Superman: Clark Kent, mild-mannered office chap with glasses but under his suit he is wearing Lycra. Or the New Q (header image). Phwoar.
Nerds, now is the time to wear those spectacles with pride. They might fog up when you go indoors, be unbearable in the rain, and get right sweaty in summer, but they’re a sign of your nerdiness – and just how goddamn sexy you are.
By Eleanor Snare